Vultur's Roost

Found Lost Ego

2006-05-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

Enter a new age of awareness. Gone is the ego of the false self and open to the awareness of everything else around us. Open up to the posibility that our realities are really created by us, instead of something that can not be controlled. If I am unhappy, the question is why? Perhaps the alignment of the stars fortold I would be sad today. Although I prefer not to look to a anadotal answers for a simple problem. I will believe that I am unhappy because some part of myself wanted me to feel that way.
I can not solve the worlds problems or cause peace to spread. I can not make everyone agree. These are limits to what I am capable of doing. I lack any desire to force change. Change will always happen; however, core values will never change. Perceptions can be changed or dilluted or options previously unknow can be shown. Core values still will not change. Pro Life or free choice will never be answered as both result in a genuine lack of freedom. Two choices are NOT I repeat NOT a choice. A true choice would Always have at Minimum 3 choices that could be made. For example, if I saw a crime I could report it, or try to interact in it by trying to stop it, or even ignoring it ever occured. Each choice has an outcome and all come with regrets. If I get involved and cause innocent to be harmed, I would feel regret. Not doing anything would make ME feel helpless. Contacting the Police, though appropiate is still a delayed action. I probably should have called the morgue for it could have had the same result in the end.

Everyone is held accontable for their actions. The person who holds us up on this is always ourself. Any action we take will have some effect. Sometimes we as a society need to understand what our Actions are saying about ourselves. I do not feel that I am preaching something that does not effect myself. I still can not lead anyone into salvation or the light or a oneness with the universe. Everything applies even to myself.

Sometimes I wish the world were easier to understand, then at other times I want to see the details, thus meaning everything seems too simple. The world turns all the time and is constantly changing; however, the mass of the earth still remains the same. It is like fighting entropy by folding up all the papers in the waste basket nice and neat to make them take up less space. It is not until you realize that there are a million people putting into the basket that are not neatly folded until you realize how unrealistic your goal really was.

I feel that only Technology can have a revolution or break throughs. Society seems unable to create a revolution even to keep up with technology. Everyone has to have a mp3 playing camera phone because it is top of the line. Still, it is just a phone, the same silly invention that 90% of the houses have attached to a LAN line. But somehow we are willing to pay more for it. Hey, what is the harm of putting a high power transmitter to your head. Besides 300 million cellphones all causing atoms in your head to vibrate at silly rates never hurt anyone. And it is the beliefe that guns don't kill anyone too. Besides who needs guns when cars have killed more than all the wars combined. Lets make way for technology, coming through.

I don't have any answers to any of these questions. Prosing these questions will not yield any solution. Still I enjoy it a bit to prose on the topics just to guess how it will turn out. I hope I am an optomist; however, I seem to fall more into a realistic perception. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Afterall if we can answer that question by saying God did, then what else has he done since that singular moment or did he spontaneously combust after creation. I don't even think we could recognize him/her if right in front of us.

Sorry for the soap box. Generally I am very upbeat and content, as I control most of what I feel through my actions. Once again, Hooter girls, salute. Keep up the cheer, if only for a moment. After all it is still impossible to be mad or upset if you smile looking up at the ceiling. (Feel free to try to prove me wrong on that one. All comments are welcome).

Perhaps someday we will have enough duct tape to fix everything in life as in Red Greens show. With love and caring, silly old me.

MIA -- Lost in empty box

2006-03-10T20:26:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder how something could get lost if it was the only thing in an empty box? Perhaps the expectation is that the box is empty or just isn't all that important. Sometimes it is much easier to be distracted from even looking in it in the first place. Besides if you look, you pretty much commit youself to moving things about inside or risk having someone else point the very item is right under your nose.

Much of what we have around us in our environment goes unnoticed. Not saying that everything should be noticed; however, we tend to notice only the things we feel are important or stand out for some odd reason. It seems like we never have what we want and we never want what we have. Some of that is just appreciating what we have, because obviously it is what we wanted somewhere along the line or else we would have never arrived here. Obviously every choice we have made (or choose not to make) lead us to this exact point in time. Granted I do not control everything around me; however, knowing what you can control and even influence does lead to more fufilling rewards and benifits. I am not taking it to the extreme and brainwashing a minion to take over the world or even my laundry.

I have fell victom to the lull of feeling helpless to everything, since everything I wanted I didn't have control over. So most of my fighting was to swim upstream and banging my head against the wall. Not everything is something we can influence. I used to loath the periodic dusting around the house, since the more dusting you do the more dust seems to appear. Changing the focus on what I am doing does seem to give me a whole new perspective on well practically everything. What part of dusting did I really hate? Simply it was a job that I felt could never be fully completed as it would repeat on forever. Granted I do enjoy having a tidy household, and I also value my time. Somehow everyone has to find a balance in their life. Actually as sick as this may sound, dusting now can relax me. It does have a simple task, and I can complete it. It can be made a bit more interesting by playing mp3s or music in the background.

Granted, me dancing around the house dusting amuses me somewhat. Well, at least the neighbors might have some enertainment from it. It isn't that I don't care what they think about it. Again it is something I don't control, nor care to control what my neighbors think. I know I want them to think certain things but it is not something that should be enforced or demanded if I respected them or appreciated them. I know I didn't always express myself before becaues I worried what everyone else would think. I still have part of that going on in my head, but I am more aware of it and it doesn't stop me that often from doing what I want.

For example, if you could envision yourself being really happy, not the psudo-happy trance. What would you do? How would you show your happiness? Would you glow with confidence? Would you dance around like Tom Cruise in "Risky Business?" Well, this question sparked me to evaluate what I was doing and why wasn't I doing the things that show my happiness. I mean nobody will know your happy if you don't even crack a smile or laugh. So I plan to live a bit more on the fun side as much as I can.

The most amazing thing I have experienced is when I believed that I have nothing left inside me to give, somehow I always seem to get a second wind that comes out of nowhere that gets me through most everything. I have spent alot of my past working on ways to compromise just to get along. I do believe in compromise; however, you can't compromise on youself. If I sacrafice myself in the name of comprmising, then I really didn't get anything out of it and I lose myself in the prcess. I rather now look for long term solutions, something that is rewarding to everyone involved. One secret is 2 options are never a choice. There are Always 3 options available to every question, and when there are 3 or more options then it is a choice. Sort of strange of thinking there are 3 choices all the time. But just consider it, yes, no, and the decision not to decide makes 3.

Sorry for the rambling. Least I haven't completely fell of the face of the earth. Someday I will have everything in balance in my life. That however, is not today. ;) I am just having fun at living it. Perception is about 90% of everything. Be aware, open you eyes, and scare youself how the OBVIOUS things start to jump out at you and just make complete sense. Till next time.

As with all things

2005-12-16T13:56:00.000-08:00

Everything takes some level of conviction. Even if it is just enough to get the task achieved. Often I wish I had a better handle on everything I would like to achieve; however, we are creatures of adversity. Any task we can adapt to complete the task. Nothing ever has to be perfect. Most of the times just the demostration of thoughts can be a much more powerful concept on others.

I find it far better to have the sincerity being the driving factor. It makes it much more easy for me to motivate myself behind something that I want to do. I know, I am also the guy who starts 100 projects and is yet to complete 60% of them. Somedays I wish we had more time to do everything, and then others I don't want to do anything.

Perhaps if we all sit around waiting for a big social change, it will come. Though I don't think sitting around waiting for it will help it along. Perhaps if we as Americans could build a stronger country instead of having soo many hands into our pockets almost rendering us into a Debit State. I use to think owning your own land was a great feeling. (Just don't miss the property taxes or you learn that they take it from you). Yep, the concepts I learned from Kindergarden seem lost in the grown-up world. Ownership is just a matter of Keeping paying for it. Oh don't worry, if you don't have the money, they'll give you a credit card. Did I mention you have to pay it back at 12%-32% intrest. Perhaps we should charge the bank a convienience fee, for using our cash.

Yet I digress once again. I promise not to enter a dissertation on socialistic characteristics of North American society or any such banter. Perhaps someday I will have the idea that strikes me that can reform and strengthen our nation and it's economy.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy me many things that could bring me it. Though I rather want the things I have, than want things that I don't have. The decisions we choose to make are always ours to make. And yes, no decision is still a decision to do nothing.

Ahhh, well now it is time to fold my socks. ;)

Missing person

2005-11-30T12:31:00.000-08:00

I have returned. To what, I know not. It seems as if I fell off the edge of the world.

Sometimes I wish I could see the world through rose colored glasses all the time to see all the wonders it has to offer. Unfortunately I am stuck in the rythm of stubbing my toes on every crack in the sidewalk. Perhaps if I was to fall, I would no longer stumble along the path.

I used to say better to be pissed off than pissed on. Quite a indifferent statement. Who am I to judge what being pissed on means or would feel like. I know all too well what being pissed off means. I am not as talanted as most who drive 90 mph down the expressway on their cell phones weaving through traffic while drinking their coffee in their other hand. The concept of Mortal comes back to mind.

Nobody has any reason to care about much else but themselves. There are so many people who they could get to know but our brains couldn't handle it. We can bearly manage having all the friends we have now. (Of course, I may be alone from time to time unable to always hold everyone's attention). Sometimes we need alone time to get some of our "important" things done the way we want it to be.

So to set my mind to better use, where to take the blog to next....
The search for invisible pins and needles

I intend to misbehave

2005-11-02T16:30:00.000-08:00

Just like the line from Mel from Serenity, I intend to misbehave. What would I have if everything I did was the everyday chores? Well, I mean besides an ultra maculate house with ultra white floors without clutter or dust. Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a clean house and counter space. I just can not dedicate my life to the reversal of entropy.

There is a lot of things that I do which I must or have to do. There is even times where I do it to show caring and appreciation of someone else. Responsibility is the crux of the matter. It is a matter of balancing everything out to achieve inner peace and tranquility.

Perhaps someday I can reach some balance between the mundane and actually living life and having fun. Well, at least, I know how to have fun. It is ironic how many people do not want to be responsible for anything including their actions. I am not trying to hide or run from responsibility. I try to meet my responsibly without getting lost in all the complexities of daily chores.

So Tonight I intend to misbehave. :P

Hooter's answer Life questions...

2005-10-31T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm, what a daunting task? I understood that writing a blog and keeping it updated ever weekday would be challenging; however, it is harder than I originally believed. A billion things I could write about. How do I choose any or even one? So I have to choose.

So I choose Hooter girls. Hey, at least I am going to have fun. It is not often that I have gone to Hooters, or stay there for 3 ½ hours until close; however, I have done it once recently. I can not honestly say that I was bored for a moment. I was fascinated with our conversation about Blonde moments. I was not aware that I could order Bud or Budweiser nor that children in car seats need crayons or silverware. I can laugh at these moments as I can see myself suffering from these cursed Blonde moments.

Our waitress love waiting on our table. She claimed it is always great to have a table who talk and is fun. I know we had every Hooters girl at our table talking with us for a while. We even got to meet a Hooter girl who was in the calendar, even though she was in the wrong state for the competition. Sure it was a lie she told, but it didn’t matter because I was still able to get her to laugh and smile that light up the room. Not everyone can always be in a good mood all the time. If I am bored, I know I must be doing something that makes me bored even if it is nothing. Apparently, it is also a choice I must have made or avoided.

All I can tell you, is I had a blast. I even went away with her e-mail address and her autograph. So I was successful in my quest for fun and happiness. I did something and enjoyed every minute of it and had more fun than I had ever planned. Perhaps I will go back too Hooters; whenever, I can wipe off my smile from the last time. ;)

Enters the Beast

2005-10-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

I often say that we never have any problems here, just lots and lots of Freakin' challenges. Every problem has an answer if not many answers at that. Further every problem can have an approximate solution or a workaround. So I have given up looking for the answer for the problem. I now look for the challenge. Being able to succeed at the task, is the ultimate reward for attempting it in the first place.

After all, the definition of success is very much a personal one. I can only guess what it would take to make you successful. I know what it is for me to be successful. Sometimes we can make feeling successful hard to acheive. Perhaps we do this to make ourselves believe our reward will be greater. Often we set our goals outside our reach. Setting more obtainable goals is not a bad thing as long as we do not become goalless and complacent. Everyday that I am above ground as a basis for success, would definitely not be a bad. Having something that is easier or harder, really does not diminish the reward.

I found it interesting to talk to a waitress from Hooters. I know she is still rather young, but she still had a vision of what she wanted out of life. She is still more than a girl gone wild screaming "Whoooo hoooo." Besides, sometimes I think Hooter women may have more fun than me. She doing things that show she is happy and that do make her happy. I see many people who seem to forget how to smile. I will bet you or anyone that you can not make a silly face and be depressed or even mad at the same time. Just proving that the physical and mental connection that makes oneself feel emotional. Once again, my theory of just doing something seems to be reinforced by this example.

Only you can make yourself a success. What does it take to make yourself happy? I believe it is often very little things often neglected. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in doing life’s task (like dishes, paying bills or letting the dog out) that makes me loose sight of these important little things. Nobody is ever going to believe I am happy if I never smile or do the things that go along with being happy. After all, what do you think someone who is depressed would look like. How would you look like if you were happy? At least, now know one thing that you need to do.

I know how to be happy and have fun. Now I just need to implement my plans to achieve it. I am just another fool hunting the proverbial emotional Beast. Everyone fears the beast, and we hide from ourselves. Understand the nature of the Beast, and do something, and smile.

Life, Eternity, and nothingness

2005-10-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, so we meet again.
Sometimes I wonder why the simple things are so hard to understand. Common sense is often not very common, nor do Geniuses ever think alike. Hey but who am I to criticize. I have watched a guy walk down the road talking to himself. Yep, he is definitely nuts. Then I think "Who the Hell am I talking to?" Thankfully sanity is only in reference to sane, which means practically nothing. After all, we say bless you when someone sneezes, because we believe the devil will steal you soul. Throw rice at weddings to feed the demons to keep them at bay. And even have an additional pair of friends standing beside us to confuse the demons curses.

Granted I am not all that superstitious, but you are not going to find me trying to test my luck against it in the near future. Besides if I did, I would have to question my sanity. Anyhow I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Once again I manage to convolute the topic into small circular trail that leads to nothing once again. Perhaps I shall never fully understand the simple things; however, they are still not going to stop me from doing something.

Beginning of Nadda

2005-10-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well where to begin. Of course, that in itself is rather irrelevant. Life is often good to me; however, I find myself looking into the cracks and dark corners for the goodness. I have always tried to be the person who I want to be or would like to be. So I am going to be busy for the next 50 years at least.

Perceptions often change like the weather here in Michigan. I have chosen to adapt a new philosophy for my life. You may call it simplistic or even basic, but it is not as easy as it seems. It all boils down to "Do Something." The regrets I can easily recall are the ones where I choose to do nothing. Ironically, doing nothing never achieved the outcomes that I wanted.

Sure me saying "Do something" does not make it any easier to do. After all, it does not tell you what to do or even how to do it. Often I am left guessing what it is that I should do or could be doing. My challenge is do something. I know what I will do may never be perfect; however, it doesn't have to be perfect. My actions will speak for themselves. At least, I care enough to take some form of action. Well it may not always be right, but I won't be the one sitting there looking pretty along the wallflowers.

My only proof is sincerity. I never blogged before nor can I find a sufficient reason why I haven't before. So I will attempt to keep this up. It is not my goal to change anyone other than myself; however, I am going to have fun one way or another. ;)

Flame On...........

Remember you don't need parachutes to go skydiving, you only need them if you want to go more than once.